There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
