I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
