xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
