$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
