So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
