that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
