its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
