miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
