We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
