..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My ass is underappreciated
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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