Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
