if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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