Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
