you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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