i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
love makes seman taste better
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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