please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
