You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
