i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
