NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
