they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My life is pants optional.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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