apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
