I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
