i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
