So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
