Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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