i permit you to call me
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's blow job season.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Randomize
