I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
