His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
