he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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