its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Floor bacon is actually really good
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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