dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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