Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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