He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
