Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
