just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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