What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
