jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
