you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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