No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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