Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
