Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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