Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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