Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
