i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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