in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
