if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
