I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
love makes seman taste better
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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