My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
