batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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