I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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